Well, we are mid way through the Spring semester, and you know what that means? Life is INSANITY. Between keeping up with classes, rehearsals, performances, auditions, health, finances, relationships, etc.; it all seems completely overwhelming.
Let me give you a taste of my reality.
Coming into this semester, I knew that I was biting off more than I could chew. While I'm only taking 15 hours of classes (12 hours of real classes, 3 of voice/choir), I am participating in a few productions.
It started with Valentine Cabaret, then I was a hostess in Spring Sing. Now I'm left with the opera production of the Old Maid and the Thief, and my senior recital. In the middle of it all, I'm preparing for summer program auditions and opera company auditions, NATS, taking my OSAT in 2 days (test that must be passed to student teach in OK), and trying to stay afloat in my classes.
It's gotten to the point where my boyfriend and I have agreed that the only times we will see each other this week is to study/practice, until the chaos dies down for both of us.
I don't say all of this for pity or to complain, really (maybe a little). There is a reason I agreed to all of this madness -- because I LOVE IT.
Sometimes I doubt my choice to pursue music -- do I actually love it enough? Would I really be good at directing a choir or singing professionally? Is all of this work and exhaustion really worth it???
At the end of the day, my answer is always yes.
When I find myself listening to music and conducting along without thought, I'm at peace. When I am singing with my choir and there are points of perfect harmony and teamwork, I choke up. When I am practicing and I sing that note exactly how I wanted to, I am elated. When I perform in productions with my closest friends and we feel accomplished, I am beyond proud.
There are many moments when I feel overwhelmed, but taking a step back and appreciating the simple moments always shows me that this is truly where I belong.
For now though, I'm just going to sleep for a few hours.